


A Fae in the Life

by annazonfox



Category: Lost Girl, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Action & Romance, CopDoc - Freeform, Crossover, F/F, Femslash, Femslash February, Joxer is Dead To Me, Sexual Tension, Sexy Times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:03:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6082134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annazonfox/pseuds/annazonfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In honor of Femslash February, I pulled the Xena dolls out of the trunk. Couldn’t resist. The crossover camp is out in full force with this one. I hope I make up for it with some sexytimes. </p>
<p>This story is also a continuation of my story <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5315792/chapters/12273278">Breaking Faemish</a>, but it’s not necessary to have read that one first (although you might enjoy that one, if you’re into CopDoc action!). The story picks up with Lauren and Tamsin, together. Their quest is to deliver a shipment to Hestia. Will they make it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Tamsin, push,” Lauren said. “No. Harder!”  Sitting up against the headboard, the doctor was out of breath from straining. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face.

Between her legs, Tamsin worked.

“Yeah,” Lauren said. “Yeah, that’s it.”

“Lauren, it’s too big. Seriously.”

“No it’s not. It’s fine.”

“It’s just, it’s not going in.” Tamsin paused, and then pushed forward again with a groan.

“Well  _ make it _ go in,” Lauren said. “Just, don’t stop this time.”

Tamsin pulled back, sat up on her knees, and blew a stray strand of hair out of her face.

“Nooo,” Lauren said. “You stopped.”

“Lauren, I can’t,” Tamsin dropped the table leg she was holding. It rolled off the bed and then down to the floor with a thud. “These fucking Ikea instructions are pointless. It’s a nightstand. Four legs. One top.” She began mumbling something that ended with “shit biscuit.”

“Tamsin….”

“And why the ever-loving hell are there no words?” Tamsin continued. “Even Swedish, I could understand. But just pictures? Are they mocking people? It’s not cute.” She picked up the Assembly Instructions and ripped them in half, folded the tatters, and then ripped them in half again.

“Well that’s certainly not helping the situation.” With a sigh, Lauren pushed the tabletop she had been holding to the side.

Tamsin threw the papers up in the air and crawled forward between Lauren’s legs. “Will  _ this  _ help the situation?” she said. She kissed Lauren, first on her mouth, then she made her way to Lauren’s neck.

“Mmmm,” Lauren said. “How did you know? Some women imagine a bed of roses. I’ve always fantasized about a bed of Ikea instruction confetti and tools.” Still, she tilted her head, giving Tamsin better access. She felt the Valkyrie’s hand graze up her shirt, and pulled her closer.

“So that’s nerd for yes, then?” Tamsin said, smiling. Before Lauren could answer, Tamsin found her mouth again, and then her tongue.

Lauren let the kiss deepen, and began sliding down the headboard, bringing Tamsin with her. She felt a thigh between her legs and pressed into it. “Mmm-hmmm,” she said. She grabbed at Tamsin’s back, pulling her closer.

Tamsin’s hand moved to the front of Lauren’s jeans.

A knock sounded at the door. “Lauren? Tamsin?” came a voice.

Tamsin groaned. She pulled away and quickly sat back on her knees. “Yeah Emma?” She said, with an edge to her voice.

Lauren put a hand on Tamsin’s knee, and raised an eyebrow as if to say, “Calm down.”

“Can I come in?” the voice from the other side of the door asked.

Tamsin shook her head. “Please say no?” Tamsin whispered. She leaned forward to nuzzle back into Lauren’s neck.

“Tamsin, stop it,” Lauren whispered, putting a hand at Tamsin’s shoulder.

“Fine,” Tamsin said, with an exhale. She sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. She flung her legs out so her feet were on the floor.

“Yeah, Emma,” Lauren yelled. “Come on in.” She quickly sat up against the headboard and straightened her shirt.

The door opened and an early 20-something former member of the Hestian Order opened the door. She had a big smile on her face and was carrying a small box, which she placed on the dresser. She then looked at table pieces and tools strewn about the room. “You  _ guys _ . I told you I would put the table together for you.” She shook her head.

“Yes, and as a matter of pride,” Lauren said. “We wanted to do it ourselves.”

“Or  _ try  _ to anyway,” Tamsin said, under her breath. She began half-heartedly picking up pieces of the instructions and tearing them into smaller pieces. Her foot kicked a piece of the table on the floor.

“Well, you’re the one who insisted on having a nightstand on your side of the bed, Tamsin,” Lauren said.

Tamsin shot her a look.

“Which…. is perfectly understandable,” Lauren said, putting her hands up. She shook her head and then quickly turned to Emma. “Was there something you wanted, Emma?”

Emma had begun picking up pieces of the table, turning her head this way and that to examine them. “Hmm?” She knelt down and then placed the table top on the floor and picked up a screwdriver.

“Emma?” Lauren asked.

Emma looked up. “Oh! Right,” she said. Jumping up, she took the box she had been carrying from the dresser. “I made these!” She opened the box and pulled out a pair of wooden shoes. “A gift.”

“Emma, I don’t know what to say,” Lauren said, reaching her hands out.

“Oh, not for you, silly!” Emma said, smiling.

“Oh!” Lauren said, pulling her hands back quickly.

“They’re for my friend Benjamin. In Hestia. Since you guys are going there tomorrow….”

“You thought we could bring them to him?” Lauren finished.

“Yeah! Could you?”

“Sure, of course,” Lauren said. “They’re beautiful.”

“Thank you! You guys are the best!” Emma placed the shoes in the box and then knelt back on the floor to re-examine the nightstand Lauren and Tamsin had been trying to put together.

“You know,” Tamsin said, turning to Lauren with her arms crossed. “I don’t  _ have _ to have a nightstand here. I’m just always, you know, reaching over you to get water.”

“Tamsin,” Lauren said. “I didn’t mean-”

“Plus I like to have my moisturizer close by. My skin gets gets so dry-”

“Tamsin, it’s fine.”

“Is it, though?”

“Just calm down,” Lauren said. She looked down at Emma, who was working on the nightstand, indicating she didn’t want to have this talk in front of her.

“Whatever,” Tamsin said, under her breath. “Look, I have some stuff to do at my place before we leave tomorrow, so. Guess I’ll go do that.”

Lauren exhaled and shook her head. “Fine, whatever.”

“Fine,” Tamsin said. As she brushed past Lauren, Lauren caught her wrist.

“See you later?”

“I dunno,” Tamsin said. She pulled out of Lauren’s grip and left the room.

“Okay then,” Lauren said, under her breath, and sat down on the edge of the bed. She watched as Emma worked on the nightstand.

The young woman had it nearly put together. With a twist, she screwed in the final leg, and then swung the table upright.

“Emma, that’s amazing,” Lauren said. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Lauren,” Emma said. She gave the tabletop a pat. “Although, I wish Tamsin hadn’t left. Since it’s her nightstand and all.”

“Yeah,” Lauren said. “About that. I’m sorry you had to hear us like that.”

Emma shrugged. “Are you guys okay? I mean, I know you love each other, but Tamsin sure left in a huff.”

“Oh,” Lauren said, flushing. She scratched her head. “Yeah. So, that whole awkward thing about the nightstand, might not have actually been about the nightstand.”

“What do you mean?” Emma asked. She lifted the nightstand and carried it over to Tamsin’s side of the bed. She backed away, admired it, and then turned to Lauren with an expectant look on her face. “Lauren, what happened?”

“Nothing,” Lauren said, standing. She then laughed. “Oh my God, nothing ‘happened.’ I mean, well, maybe something, last night….”

Emma stood, arms crossed, waiting.

“Tamsin might have,” Lauren started, and then cleared her throat. “Well, it seems she is in love with me. And, specifically, she told me that. Aloud.”

“Well, duh,” Emma said. “You guys love each other. It’s obvious.”

Lauren looked down.

“Lauren!” Emma gasped. “You told her back, didn’t you?”

“I mean, it was right after we….”

“Had sex?”

Lauren paused and then nodded. “Yes. So, it was probably a momentary… slip on her part. I mean, this is Tamsin we’re talking about.”

“Lauren!” Emma said. “Did you say  _ anything _ ?”

Lauren looked around the room. “I….might have pretended I had fallen asleep. And then, later, I asked her if she wanted to go to Ikea in the morning.”

“Lauren!”

“But really, when you think about it, that’s basically saying it back.”

Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Lauren, Tamsin loves you. And, I think if you really think about it, you’ll see that you love her, too.”

“Don’t be mad,” Lauren said, she then bit her own knuckle.

“It’s not me you should be worrying about,” Emma said. “You just need to tell her.” And then, after a beat, “Wait! Gods, are you still in love with Bo?!  _ Lauren _ !”

Lauren sighed. “Emma, I’ll talk to her. I promise.”

Emma looked at Lauren and then at her watch. “Look, my shift at The Dal starts in half an hour. So, the house is yours if you guys want to talk this out.”

Lauren nodded.

“And, if I don’t see you before you leave for Hestia tomorrow, tell everyone hi for me,” Emma said. “And don’t forget Benjamin’s shoes!”

“Yes ma’am,” Lauren said, saluting as Emma left the room. Still sitting on the bed, she then dropped her head into her hands.

 

**xxx**

  
  


“I’m sure she’ll be here soon, Trick,” Lauren said. “Tamsin might not be on time, but she wouldn’t just completely flake.”

“Well, can you try calling her?” Trick said. “Did she have other big plans on her morning itinerary aside from portal-jumping to the center of the Earth?”

They were in the basement of The Dal, which was filled with boxes. Trick had a clipboard and was taking inventory.

“Yeah,” Lauren said. “I called her already. Texted. Nothing.”

Trick looked up at her from his clipboard, shook his head, and then looked back down, continuing to write.

“She didn’t,” Lauren started. “Come home last night.”

“Are my two favorite honorary Hestians experiencing trouble in paradise?” Trick said. “Grab that box, will you?” He nodded toward a cardboard box at the top of stack.

“We’re the only honorary Hestians you know,” Lauren said. She reached above her head and lifted the top box. “So, that makes us your favorites by default.”

“Exactly,” Trick said. “On my desk, please.”

Lauren carried the box over to Trick’s desk and put it down. From the stairwell, she heard voices and heavy footfalls.

“Watch it!” said a male voice. “Not so fast, kid.”

“I’m  _ trying _ . You’re the one who wanted to be on the bottom,” said another male voice.

From the stairwell, Vex emerged walking backwards, carrying what appeared to be a heavy box. Mark, walking forward, carried the other end and emerged after Vex.

“Just let go!” Vex said, sounding annoyed.

Mark released his end of the box, causing Vex to stumble. He took a few steps and then regained his balance.

“You okay there, Vex?” Lauren asked.

“It’s not heavy. Just awkward,” Vex said.

“You know, things can be both heavy  _ and _ awkward,” Lauren instructed.

“It’s levio- _ sa, _ ” Vex mimicked under his breath, rolling his eyes. And then, “Where do you want this, Trick?”

“On the table,” Trick said, nodding toward a coffee table.

“What is all this stuff?” Mark said, looking around the basement in awe. He peeked into a nearby box and his eyes widened.

“Don’t,” Trick said, appearing next to him and snapping the lid of the box shut. “Touch. Anything.”

Mark jumped back with his hands up.

“Quarterly shipments,” Lauren said.

“Cool,” Mark said. “Is that why you’re going to Hestia?”

“How do you know about that?” Trick said, frowning.

“Oh,” Mark said. “Ran into Tamsin last night at the Rheinhold.”

“Oh dear,” Trick said, shaking his head. He went back to writing on his clipboard.

Lauren paused. “She went…. out last night to that dark bar?”

“Yeah! She was in rare form,” Mark said, nodding. “It was  _ awesome. _ Bow chika-wow-wow.”

“Who was in rare form now?” said a voice, from behind Mark.

He quickly turned. “Tamsin, hey!” He then fanned the air. “Geez! You still wasted?”

Tamsin rolled her eyes, which had significant bags under them. “Are  _ you _ ?”

“Nah, I’m 22 remember?” Mark said, with a smile. “Unlike some people,” he elbowed Tamsin in the side.

“Oof,” Tamsin said. “No,” she shook her head. “No touching. Touching will cause puking.” She then saw Lauren, next to Mark. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Lauren said.

Mark looked at Tamsin, then at Lauren, then back at Tamsin. He kept standing there with a big grin on his face.

Tamsin shot him a look. “ _ Hey _ ,” she said. She then took a drink of the large coffee she was holding.

Mark jumped back a little. “Uh, right. I should help Trick. With something.”  

“Ya think?” Tamsin said. She sarcastically nodded at him as he walked away. “That kid is skittish as a fucking rabbit. Fucks like one too, from what I hear.”

Lauren grimaced at that. “I don’t need that visual,” she said. “And, are you okay?”

“Super,” Tamsin said. “Although, I’ve never done the portal thing, so I’m really hoping seasickness won’t be a factor.”

“No, I meant about yesterday,” Lauren said. After a beat, she added, “But if you really want to know, according to my research, sensory conflict within the vestibular system doesn’t typically occur during teleportation. So you should be fine.”

“Oh,” Tamsin said, nodding. “Good.”

“Of course I can’t say how that massive hangover will impact things,” Lauren added, under her breath.

“Tamsin,” Trick said, popping his head between them. “Glad you could finally join us.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Tamsin said, turning toward Trick. “Let’s do this.”

Trick fanned the air when she spoke, and shook his head. “Follow me, ladies.”

They followed him to his desk and watch him open one of the small boxes on it. From the box, he removed a much smaller wooden box. “Lauren, your medical bag,” he said, nodding toward Lauren.

Lauren nodded and picked up her medical bag from the floor near Trick’s desk.

“Hey, cool! What’s this?” came Mark’s voice, from across the room. “Vex, go long!”

Lauren, Tamsin, and Trick turned their heads just in time to see him tossing a ring-like disc in the air, catching it himself. He then readied himself to throw it like a frisbee.

“What are you getting at now?” Vex said, turning. He put his hands up, shielding himself. As the disc came toward him with a woosh, he awkwardly caught it with both hands. He then looked at in his hands with admiration. “It’s sharp, actually. Nice.”  He tossed it back to Mark, and it made another wooshing sound.

“Hey, did you guys hear that?” Mark laughed, easily catching it. “‘ _ A-woosh, _ ’” he imitated. He then started narrating his moves, “With the Thunder down by 6, he steps back. He looks downfield….’”

Vex began dodging around boxes in the room as if they were defenders.

“Wow,” Tamsin said. “Is this like foreplay for you two? Kinda gives new meaning to the phrase ‘fantasy football.’”

Mark’s eyes lit up. “Hey Lauren,” he said. “You’re a lesbian! You can catch things. Here!” He aimed the disc toward Lauren and let it fly with another woosh.

“Gah,” Lauren said, wincing and closing her eyes as the disc came flying at her. She ducked and covered her head with her hands.

Tamsin stepped in front of Lauren and easily caught the disc. When she did, she raised an eyebrow. “Hmmm,” she said. “This  _ is _ a nice piece.” She turned to Trick, who looked horrified by what he was watching. “I haven’t seen one of these since-”

“Down. Now,” Trick said.

Tamsin grimaced and tossed it to Vex like a frisbee. “Sorry,” she said to Trick. “Couldn’t resist.”

Trick rolled his eyes. “It’s a chakram.”

“Oh! From India, but also seen in Greece,” Lauren said, standing back up and adjusting her blouse. “The archives say it’s one of the most difficult weapons to master, requiring remarkable coordination and a high degree of dexterity.”

Tamsin put a hand at Lauren’s back, and Lauren leaned into it. “You’re welcome, by the way,” she whispered into Lauren’s ear.

“Well, seems pretty simple to use if you ask me,” Mark said. He now had the disc and was preparing to throw it again.

“The chakram is not a child’s plaything,” Trick said. “In the right hands, it ranks next to the Siracon as one of the deadliest weapons in existence.” He then turned to Lauren with annoyance in his voice. “Do you have everything? It’s imperative that all of the Ambrosia ingredients-”

“Get to Hestia,” Lauren said, nodding. “I know. And yes, all of the vials, boxes, and tinctures are safely tucked away in my medical bag.” She gave it a pat.  “Along with one pair of wooden shoes.”

Trick frowned.

“A gift from Emma,” Lauren added.

“Ah. Okay,” Trick said. “Lauren. Tamsin. Follow me.” He pulled out a desk drawer, pushed a button within it, and then turned to the brick wall behind him. A few seconds later, the wall slid down into the ground, and a back room was revealed.

“This place has more tricks than a puck on April Fools’ Day,” Tamsin said, shaking her head.

Lauren and Tamsin followed Trick into the backroom. Within, a horseless buggy sat.

Upon seeing it, Lauren laughed. “Ha. I get it.”

“What?” Tamsin said.

“Doc got a DeLorean,” Lauren said. “But, of course the Hestians would have wanted a buggy. Hey, is there a, wait for it….. _ flux capacitor _ ?” She snorted at herself.

Trick shook his head, and just said, “No.”

“So, we  _ are  _ traveling through time then?” Tamsin asked.

“Yes and no,” Trick said.

“Aphrodite’s tits,” Tamsin said. “I’m too fucking hungover to deal with paradoxes right now.”

“On that, we agree,” Lauren said. “I like my facts clearcut. No ambiguity.” Nonetheless, she approached the buggy. Trick held the door open for her, and she hopped inside. “Saddle up, Tam-Tam,” she said, smiling and patting the seat next to her.

“Oh boy, here we go,” Tamsin said, under her breath. She approached the buggy and plopped into it. “I  _ really _ hope you’re right about the seasickness thing,” she added, putting a hand over her stomach.

Near the door of the buggy, Trick opened a small panel and began punching the buttons.

“Tamsin, I think you’ll be okay,” Lauren said, putting a hand at Tamsin’s knee. “Trick,” she said. “What’s the deal? What do we do now? There’s no controls in here.”

“You click your heels three times,” Trick said, from outside the buggy. “And say, ‘There’s no place like Hestia.’”

“What, for real?” Tamsin said, her eyes widening.

“No,” Trick said. He now held a bonnet in his hand. “This,” he said, pointing at the panel on the side of the buggy. “Is a scanner. You program it to your destination, place an item from that destination-”

“Hence the bonnet! And then we’re there?” Lauren said, peering out a window of the buggy. She felt Tamsin behind her, trying to get a view as well.

“Yep,” Trick said.

From the next room, came a yelp and a woosh. Trick turned his head just in time to duck out of the way with a yelp.

Lauren and Tamsin watched as the chakram hit the panel on the side of the buggy and lodge itself halfway into it.

Near the entryway of the room, Vex and Mark appeared, panting. “Oh bollocks,” Vex said.

“Crap,” Tamsin said.

“That … can’t be good,” Lauren added, looking at the chakram sticking out of the buggy. She reached down to grab the chakram but it wouldn’t budge. “Tamsin, you try!”

Tamsin reached her arm out the window and grabbed hold of the chakram with one hand and pulled. Straining harder, the chakram came loose.

“There,” Tamsin said. “No harm no foul, right?” She held the chakram in her hand.

“Phew,” Lauren said. “Hey Trick, are you okay?”

Then, the buggy began shaking. Reality began to fade in and out. One instant, the buggy was in a forest. The next instant they were in Trick’s basement. Vex and Mark were in the doorway looking on with wide eyes. Then, forest. Back to Trick’s basement.

Trick was standing up, looking into the buggy. He was frantically gesturing and his mouth was moving but no sound was coming out. “Get out now,” he appeared to be saying.

Lauren felt Tamsin’s hand at her waist. She tried the buggy door handle, but it was too late.

And, she had been right. Teleporting did not involve rolling, spinning, or any other motion that induced motion sickness. For her, anyway. Mostly, it felt like being in two places at once. Colors and darkness. Loudness and complete silence. Paradox. And then, just darkness.

**xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

Lauren popped one eye open and shut it quickly. Too much brightness. She felt a kick at her foot. She opened both eyes, inhaled sharply, and felt next to her for Tamsin. “Tamsin!” she whispered, nudging the body next to her.

“Huh, hmph,” Tamsin muttered, next to her. The Valkyrie seemed to settle back into sleep.

“Tamsin,” Lauren said, more harshly. She poked her harder. “Wake. Up.”

“Ugh,” Tamsin said, rolling over. “You lied. I feel like ass.”

“ _Tamsin!_ ”

“Hmmm?” Tamsin said, opening her eyes and looking up. “What the-?”

“Yeah,” Lauren whispered.

A figure stood over them, where they lay sprawled on the ground.  A rather tall, not-pleased-looking woman, specifically. She stood at their feet, pointing a very-sharp-looking sword their way.

“Whoa,” Tamsin said, putting her hands up. She moved to sit up. “Back off with the morning wood.”

“Tamsin, stop it,” Lauren muttered, shaking her head. She looked up at the tall woman. “Hey there, uh, miss. I mean, ma’am. Er-”

“I don’t like people touching my things,” the tall woman growled.

“Okay, we’re good with that,” Lauren said. “That’s fair. That’s totally fine.”

The woman squinted and knelt down on one knee next to where Tamsin was lying. Glaring, she kept her sword pointed at Tamsin.

“Um, sorry but this is bullshit,” Tamsin said. She sat up. “Get that sword _and_ your mug out of my face.”

The woman pushed Tamsin back down to the ground with a surprising amount of force. Tamsin recovered her balance just before she hit the ground, and gave the woman a fierce glare.

“Hand over what’s mine first,” the woman said.

“What the _hell_?” Tamsin said.

The woman nodded toward Tamsin’s hand and spoke in a tone suggesting Tamsin was an idiot. “My chakram. There’s only one like it.”

Tamsin looked at her hand. She was still clutching the chakram. “Oh,” she said. “This?”

“I’m sorry, can I just butt in here?” Lauren said, sitting up. “There really is a logical explanation for this.”

The woman, still on bended knee, raised an eyebrow. She dropped her chin in a hand.

Lauren took that as a cue to continue. “Sooo,” she said. “I’m Lauren. And this is Tamsin. We’re just trying to get to Hestia, but there’s been a bit of a mishap.”

“Hestia,” the woman hissed, and shook her head with what looked like disgust.

“Oh, you’ve heard of it!” Lauren said, clapping. “Wonderful. Well, something went wrong with our …. buggy. And, we ended up here. Um, wherever here is. So, uh, we’ll just get up and be on our merry way.”

“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news,” the woman said. “But I don’t think your carriage is going to be taking you to Hestia, or anywhere else, anytime soon.”

Lauren looked around. Bits of the buggy were scattered around them. A door, windows, seats, the panel.

“No!” Lauren said. “It’s been devastated.”

Tamsin shot up and looked around. “But you can fix it, right Lauren?”

“Tamsin, I fix people. Not… portal-traveling machines.”

“Gods, I picked a hell of a time to be hungover.”

“Yeah, you did actually-”

“Alright alright,” the woman said, cutting them off, sounding annoyed. “Hestia you say?” She re-holstered her sword. Still, she kept eyeing the chakram in Tamsin’s hand.

“Yes!” Lauren said. “Can you tell us if we’re anywhere near there? We’d be grateful, um, ma’am.”

Beside her, she could feel Tamsin roll her eyes.

“Name’s Xena,” the woman said.

“Xena?” Tamsin said, under her breath. She frowned.

“Nice to meet you, Xena,” Lauren said. She held out her hand, and was startled when Xena grabbed her arm so they were in a firm wrist-to-wrist warrior salute. “Oh, my.”

“Look,” Xena said, sighing, and letting go of Lauren’s arm. “I just dropped my friend Gabrielle off at Hestia. She’s decided to join the Order.”

“The Order of Hestian Virgins?” Lauren said.

“That’s right,” Xena said.

“Uh,” Lauren said. “Wow. That’s intense. Your friend must be really … dedicated.”

Xena rolled her eyes. “I guess so. She’s in one of her ‘noble path’ kicks. She goes on them from time to time. The Elijans. The Crusaders. Now this.”

“The Hestians are no joke, though,” Tamsin said, laughing. “I mean, we’re talking _celibacy_.”

“Tell me about it,” Xena said. “Not exactly my thing either. But my friend’s a much better person than me.”

“Could you help us get there?” Lauren asked, her eyes lighting up. “To Hestia?”

Xena looked away, into the distance. “Look, like I said, my friend’s the noble one, not me. I’d be backtracking. I need to move on.”

“We’ll give you your chakram back,” Tamsin said. She tossed it lightly from hand to hand, as if taunting Xena. “If you help us that is.”

Xena raised an eyebrow and laughed. “You think I couldn’t just take it right now?”

“You’d be surprised,” Tamsin said, beginning to glower at Xena.

“Really? ‘Cuz I have a feeling it’d be like taking candy,” Xena said. “From a…. Valkyrie.”

Lauren heard a barely-perceptible growl next to her. “Ohhh no,” she said, and reached out to grip Tamsin’s arm.

But, suddenly, Tamsin was swatting Lauren’s arm away and delivering a swift kick to Xena’s abdomen. Xena staggered backwards into a roll and landed standing on her feet. She threw her head back and cackled.

“I _knew_ you were familiar!” Tamsin yelled, jumping to her feet. She stepped forward and jabbed a finger forward into Xena’s chest.

“Tamsin, what’s going on?” Lauren said, rising to her feet.

Xena smirked, and merely backed up with her hands up.

“ _She_ ,” Tamsin said, looking at Lauren but pointing at Xena. “Was once a Valkyrie. She almost destroyed the sisterhood by betraying Grinhilda, one of our most renowned commanders.”

“Ha,” Xena said. “I could tell just by the look in your eye what you were, Valkyrie.”

“You know one when you see one, do you?” Tamsin began pulling her disheveled hair into a ponytail and cracking her knuckles.

“You could say that,” Xena said. “You really ought to calm down though.”

Tamsin growled and swung a jab toward Xena’s face. Xena dodged it, but Tamsin ended up positioned behind Xena. Matched in height, Tamsin put an arm around Xena’s neck from behind, putting her in a lock. She whispered in Xena’s ear, “You betrayed Odin, too.”

“Odin’s a prick,” Xena said. She twisted out of the lock and put a counter lock on Tamsin, from behind. “He deserved it.”

“ _Agreed_ ,” Tamsin said, straining to get out of the lock.

Xena whispered in Tamsin ear. “Now I suggest backing off before you get hurt.”

“You wish,” Tamsin said. She spun out of the lock, and swept Xena’s leg so that both women fell to the ground. Tamsin landed on top, with both legs straddling Xena.

“Um…?” Lauren stood watching. She took a tentative step toward them, and then stopped. “Should you guys just talk this out maybe?”

Tamsin had both of Xena’s arms pinned to the ground. With a yell, Xena twisted and somehow ended on top of Tamsin, pinning her to the ground, with her arms stretched out overhead. Xena moved her face closer to Tamsin’s.

“Or maybe you want to be alone?” Lauren said quietly. She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms, watching. “I’ll just, you know, be over here.”

“You miss the the rest of the story in Valkyrie School or something?” Xena hissed. “I redeemed myself. Grinhilda and I are all good now. Buds even.”

From below, Tamsin squinted. “Well. Okay,” she said, struggling beneath Xena. Their mouths were inches apart. “So maybe I was more of a PE girl than a history nerd. Which I’m sure _you_ can relate to.” She winked at Xena, thrust a knee toward her crotch, and then twisted away.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Xena said, doubled over. She then lunged toward Tamsin before the Valkyrie could get away. They began rolling around on the ground, each one battling for the top position.

“Okay,” Lauren said. “Okay then. That’s enough.” She put her hands up, moving toward them and then away, unsure how to intervene. They rolled close to her and she jumped backward with a yelp.

“You want to redeem yourself even more?” Tamsin said, panting. The two appeared to be at a stalemate. Xena had Tamsin’s elbow in a joint lock, but Tamsin had Xena’s legs tangled up. “Then help us get to Hestia.”

Xena gritted her teeth. “ _Fine_ ,” she said.

“ _Fine_ ,” Tamsin said. “Let go of each other on three?”

“Whatever.”

On three, Tamsin and Xena separated. They were both breathing heavily, sitting on their knees.

“Oh,” Lauren said, under her breath. “What a relief!”

Tamsin thrust out her arm and gave Xena a swift jab to the eye.

“Ow!” Xena said, holding her face. “What’d you do that for?”

“That’s from Freya,” Tamsin said. “I remember _that_ part of the story.”

“Ohhhkay, that’s enough,” Lauren said, finally stepping between the women. She pulled Tamsin to her feet and away from Xena.

Xena lunged forward toward Tamsin, but Lauren put her hand up. “Hey!” she said. “I’m just a civilian. Back off.”

Xena growled, but backed away. “Camp’s this way,” she said, turning to leave. “Get your things and follow me.”

 

**xxx**

 

“I have to say,” Lauren said. “Your natural healing abilities are quite remarkable.” She was applying a salve from her medical kit to Xena’s eye. “There will be some swelling in the morning, but I think it will be minimal.”

“Yeah, well it takes more than a Valk-”

“Eh,” Lauren started. She cleared her throat. “How about don’t finish that thought? Tamsin will be back any minute with more kindling. We’ve all been getting along so nicely. Um, this past 20 minutes.”

“Well,” Xena said. “I caught the fish. You cooked them. It’s only fair that she clean the dishes and get more firewood.”

“Division of labor,” Lauren said, smiling. “I agree. And, I’m still impressed by your fishing abilities. Who knew it was even possible to catch fish with your bare hands?”

“Well, I have many skills,” Xena said. While Lauren continued to work on her eye, the warrior reached for her wineskin and twisted the cap off.

“You know,” Lauren said. “The wine will make your eye worse.”

“There’s where you’re wrong, Doc,” Xena said. “Gabrielle had this wine mulled with healing herbs. It’s a recipe straight from Hippocrates’ letters.”

Lauren laughed. “Sure.”

Xena shrugged, and took a long pull from the wineskin. “She said she read it in some scrolls. The Pharma-,” Xena started. “Pharma-something or other.” She shook her head and then held the wineskin out to Lauren.

“Oh! _The Pharmakia_!” Lauren said. “You’re serious?” She took the wineskin. “Trick has half a page from that text. He says it’s all that’s left of it.” Lauren took a drink of the wine.

“Gabrielle has all the letters,” Xena started. “Well, _had_ them. Of course, who knows where they are now. Hestian vows of poverty and all.”

Lauren’s mouth opened and closed.

“That reminds me,” Xena said, laughing. “One time, I used one of her scrolls, you know, when nature called. You shoulda seen the look on her face.” She laughed, slapping her knee.

Lauren laughed along with her, secretly appalled at such use of scrolls.

Tamsin arrived back at the campsite, carrying a large bundle of sticks. She dropped them next to the fire and they landed with a thud. “Welp, these should last through the night,” she said.

Lauren handed the wine back to Xena and wiped her hands. “Okay, just try not to touch your eye, okay?” she said.

“I’ve had worse injuries,” Xena said. She took another pull from her wineskin.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Tamsin, you’re next,” she said. “Let me see those scrapes on your elbows.”

“Oh,” Tamsin said. “These are nothing, really. I’m good.”

“Yes, you are both clearly 100% fine,” Lauren said, with a huff.

“But, you know,” Tamsin said. “If you want to keep your doctor skills sharp, I’m a willing patient.”

“Seriously?” Lauren said. “Get over here.”

With a little extra pep in her step, Tamsin walked over to where Lauren and Xena sat. Lauren saw that Tamsin had apparently found a leather strap from which to hang Xena’s chakram from her belt. A flash of light from the fire glinted off the chakram as she passed Xena by.

Xena squinted and glared. She took another pull of wine, brooding.

Tamsin sat down on the log next to Lauren, so that she was between Xena and Lauren. “So,” she said. “Whatcha’ talkin’ about?”

“Elbow up,” Lauren said. “Good. Well, Xena was telling me about some of her friend Gabrielle’s healing techniques.”

“Mmmm,” Tamsin said. “Another doctor? I approve.” She turned and gave Xena a wink. “Ow! that stings.” She turned quickly back to Lauren.

“Good,” Lauren said, making eye contact with Tamsin. “That means it’s working.”

“Well,” Xena said. “My friend isn’t a healer by trade. I guess she has … many skills too.”

“Those are the best kind of ‘friends’ if you ask me,” Tamsin said, smiling at Lauren.

Lauren shook her head. Still, she felt a smile forming at her mouth. After rinsing Tamsin’s elbow, she began applying an ointment to it. “Okay,” she said. “You should keep this covered tonight.” She pulled a bandage from her medical bag and began wrapping.

“Wait! You guys,” Tamsin said, sniffing the air. “I smell wine.” She pointed at Xena’s wineskin. “You have wine in there!”

“Ya think?” Xena said. “It _is_ called a wineskin for a reason.” She laughed and shook her head.

“You’ve been holding out on us!”

Xena smiled and took a large drink from the skin. She closed her eyes, savoring it as it went down her throat. A droplet rolled down her chin. “Mmmmm, that’s good. And no,” she said. “Just holding out on you. Your friend had some already.”

Tamsin turned to Lauren, with her mouth open, looking betrayed.

Lauren shrugged, as she packed up her medical supplies. “Xena, you said something about extra bedrolls?”

“Yep,” Xena said, standing up.

“Wait,” Tamsin said. “Hello. Am I getting wine or not?”

“Hmm,” Xena said. “I’m betting not.” She looked down at her chakram hanging from Tamsin’s belt, and gave Tamsin a large fake smile.

Tamsin turned slightly, as if trying to hide the chakram from Xena. “Oh, _come on!_ ”

“Follow me,” Xena said, nodding to Lauren. “I’ll get you those bedrolls.”

“Thanks,” Lauren said. Her hand gave Tamsin’s shoulder a pat as she walked by.

“What the nuts, you guys?” Tamsin said. She kicked at the dirt as Lauren and Xena walked away. “And what’s with you calling everyone each other’s ‘friend,’ anyway, Xena?” she yelled. “She’s my _girlfriend_ , you know!” she yelled after them. She then added, under her breath, “At least I think so.”

 

**xxx**

 

“Tamsin,” Lauren whispered. “You awake?”  

It was early dawn. The fire had gone out and was just a pile of ashes in the pit. Lauren and Tamsin on one side of it, Xena by herself on the other side. Tamsin had her arm around Lauren, as they lay on their sides on the ground.

“Yeah,” Tamsin whispered, in her ear. “I seriously hate camping, by the way. I feel every godsdamn pebble and twig right now.”

“I know, I think I slept for 2 hours total,” Lauren said. “You think she’s awake yet? Xena?”

“Probably,” Tamsin said. “Didn’t you hear her doing her morning 1,000 pushups.”

“So twice your daily number?” Lauren laughed. She pulled Tamsin’s arm around her tighter before Tamsin could hit her. “What’s your deal with her, anyway?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Lauren turned to face Tamsin. “Hey,” she said. “You can tell me.”

“Well,” Tamsin said. “Word is she broke Freya’s heart.” She pulled Lauren closer and closed the blanket over their heads.

“Mmmm,” Lauren said, putting a hand to Tamsin’s cheek. “You’re evil. How? What’s the story there?”

Tamsin snaked a hand down Lauren’s back and over her ass. “That whole story’s for another day. Freya’s too proud to say so, but I think Xena just up and left her without them ever, you know, acting on it.” She moved her hand to Lauren’s stomach, under her shirt.

Lauren inhaled. “What if Xena _is_ awake?”

“Then you better be quiet when I touch you,” Tamsin said. She moved in to kiss Lauren.

“Seriously, Tamsin.”

“Shhh, I don’t want to think about her right now.” Her fingers moved down Lauren’s stomach.

Lauren breath hitched and she caught Tamsin’s hand. “Tamsin,” she said. “I mean it..... what’s going on with you? Are we okay?”

“Can we not?” Tamsin said. She leaned in to Lauren’s neck, and softly nibbled. Her hand moved upward, instead of down, and found a nipple. “Friends with benefits, right?”

“That’s just it,” Lauren said. “You know I want this as much as you-”

“Good,” Tamsin said, moving in to kiss Lauren again.

Lauren pulled back. “Wait. There’s just something I think -  well, that I want to say.”

Tamsin pulled back, looking into Lauren’s eyes. “What is it?”

“Tamsin, I…um,” Lauren started. Then, nearby, was the sound of a twig snapping. She turned her head, frowning. “Did you hear something?”

Tamsin bolted upright, just as Xena yelled.

“BANDITS! AYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!”

“Fuck,” Tamsin said, throwing the blanket aside. “Stay here,” she said to Lauren. She jumped to her feet and grabbed the chakram.

A group of what looked like ten large, goonish-looking men with their swords drawn began surrounding Xena. She pulled her sword out as they closed in on her.

“Ten to one,” Tamsin said, with a laugh. “Even those odds aren’t great for Xena the Mighty.”

With a battle cry, Xena sunk into a crouch, stuck out one leg, and quickly spun so that she swept three of the bandits. While they sprawled on the ground, she gave them each a swift pop to the head with the hilt of her sword, knocking them out. She then jumped high into the air and delivered rapid-fire bicycle kicks to the faces of two more.

When she landed, two men grabbed her from behind. Tamsin looked down at the chakram in her hand and considered using it, weighing her odds of hitting the men compared to hitting Xena.

“What are you waiting for, Valkyrie?” Xena said, struggling to break free.

“Eh,” Tamsin said. She clipped the chakram to her belt and ran toward the fight. One man swung a sword toward her. Just after his stroke, before he could swing again, she moved in close and gave him a palm heel to the nose. She then grabbed his sword hand twisted his wrist into a lock. He groaned and the sword dropped from his hand. After an elbow to the side of the head, he fell to the ground.

Tamsin picked up the man’s sword just as Xena was able to break free from the two men who were holding her. Xena moved toward Tamsin and they assumed a back-to-back position.

“Okay,” Tamsin said. “So that sweep thing you did was badass.”

“Thanks,” Xena said, as a man lunged in with his sword. She parried his attack, and he lunged in toward Tamsin.

Tamsin struck his sword with her own and kicked him in the gut. From behind, Xena struck his sword arm and he screamed, dropped his weapon, and ran. “You’re not too bad with joint locks yourself, Valkyrie,” Xena said.

Tamsin grunted in acknowledgement.

“Alright fellas,” Xena said. Two men were left, circling them. “Are you sure you want to make the same mistakes your friends made?”

“Hmm, casting doubt,” Tamsin said. “I see you learned a thing or two as a Valkyrie.” She turned to the men as her face began changing. “Listen to the nice lady,” she told them, as she began feeding their insecurities. “We don’t want to hurt you-”

“We don’t?” Xena asked.

Tamsin shot her a look. “No,” she turned back to the men, smiling. “These men are nothing. Nobodies.”

The men looked at one another, uncertain.

“In fact, I don’t even see anyone here,” she said. “Or hear anything.” She casually rested the sword at her shoulder, as if unconcerned about the threat the men posed.

The men began backing away, looking scared. They looked down at their hands, as if unsure whether they really existed.

Tamsin began cackling. Xena looked from her to the men and crossed her arms, looking impressed. The two men backed away more quickly, and then turned to run away. One of them tripped and after he got back up on his feet they both started sprinting away from the camp without another look back.

“And buh-bye,” Tamsin said. Her face began changing back to normal.

“Huh,” Xena said. “Well that’s that, I suppose.”

“Are you kidding?” Lauren said, walking over to Tamsin and Xena. “You two were amazing together.”

“Yeah,” Xena said. “Not bad Valkyrie.” She clapped Tamsin on the back and then began rubbing her palms together. “Say, you know what I always crave after a fight?”

Tamsin gave a knowing nod. “Heh, you and me both. Something about a good fight that really gets the juices flowing.”

Xena and Tamsin both turned to Lauren with a hungry look in their eyes.

“Um… breakfast?” Lauren asked, in a small voice. She swallowed. “I too am ravished. I mean, famished.”

“No,” Xena said, shaking her head. She smiled wickedly. “Something even better than food.”

“Oh,” Lauren said, her stomach doing a flip-flop. “Well, Tamsin and I haven’t really broached that-”

“A nice long soak in a hot tub,” Xena said. “Come on. Let’s pack up. I know just the place.”

“Oh,” Lauren said, with an awkward laugh. “Of _course_. That sounds lovely.”

 

**xxx**

 

“So, Xena,” Lauren said, as the three women soaked. “Do you often find natural hot springs out here in the forest?”

“You just have to know where to look,” Xena said. “How to spot the signs.” She rested her head back and closed her eyes. Half of her cleavage was in the water, half out.

“Well,” Lauren said. “Thank you. This feels amazing.”

Xena nodded. “Of course, Gabrielle would have given us all back rubs if she were here.”

“I wouldn’t turn that down right about now,” Tamsin said.

“Xena,” Lauren said. She paused, and then said, “Do you think maybe there’s… other fish in the sea?”

Xena opened one eye. “What do you mean?”

“Yeah, okay,” Tamsin said, sitting next to Lauren. “Can we stop beating around the bush-”

“Psst,” Lauren said, jabbing Tamsin with her elbow. “I think, well, what we mean to say is, maybe you can find a new friend?”

“Doubt it,” Xena said, closing her eyes again.

“You seem certain about that,” Lauren said.

“I’m really not a nice person,” Xena said.

Lauren looked at Tamsin and then at Xena, with a smile.  She shook her head. “Oh, well. Don’t be fooled by your own harsh exterior.”

“I think I speak for both Xena and I when I say we have no idea what you’re talking about, Doctor Lewis,” Tamsin said. She looped an arm around Lauren’s waist, and Lauren leaned into her.

Lauren closed her eyes, feeling content. They sat in silence then for several minutes, enjoying the feel of the warm water.

Faintly at first, and then gradually louder, came the sound of chimes and the smell of rose bubble bath. And then, a female voice. “Well well _well_ ,” she said. “Just what in Sappho’s name do we have here?”

Appearing before them was a busty woman with long curly blond hair. Wearing pink lingerie, she had her hands on her hips and was tapping one pedicured foot up and down.

“Hey, Aphrodite,” Xena said, without glancing up.

“All this naked lady flesh and you didn’t even think to invite _moi_?” The woman had one well-manicured hand on her hip and raised the other to her chest. “How rude!” She then crossed her arms and tossed her hair to the side.

“Lauren, Tamsin, meet Aphrodite,” Xena said. “Aphrodite, this is Lauren and Tamsin.”

“Hey,” Tamsin said, giving a nod.

“Oh! Hi?” Lauren said. She sat up straighter, remembered she was naked, and slid down lower into the water with a blush.

“A pleasure indeed,” Aphrodite said. She then cleared her throat and gave a little cough. “Ahem ahem.”

Xena rolled her eyes. “Do you want to join us, Aphrodite?” She flicked some water toward the goddess.

“ _Obvi,_ ” she said, with a laugh. “Especially now that you’ve gotten me wet.” She pulled down the straps of her lingerie, revealing large breasts. She kept sliding her lingerie down past her stomach, down her thighs, and to her feet, where she then bent forward to finish undressing.

Lauren caught herself staring and biting her lip. She looked at Tamsin and saw the Valkyrie staring, eyes wide. “Close your mouth, Tamsin,” she said.

Tamsin looked away quickly, with a guilty look on her face.

Aphrodite stepped out of the lingerie and lowered herself to the edge of the hot tub, with her feet dangling in the water. She then slowly slid her body in, so that she was sitting directly across from Lauren and Tamsin, and next to Xena.

She looked at Xena, then to Lauren and Tamsin. Her eyes widened with excitement. “So, here we all are,” she said. She gave a little wiggle in the water.

“Yes, here we are,” Xena said. “Can we all just not talk? Please.” She closed her eyes again and rested her head back.

“Wait. Nu-uh. Shut! Up!” Aphrodite said, wading forward. “Could it be a _Valkyrie_ before my eyes?” She stopped directly in front of Tamsin and stood, breasts dripping water, with her hands on her hips.

“Freya’s own,” Tamsin said, with a somewhat cocky, satisfied air. She had her arms up, resting on the side of the tub. Lauren was on one side. Aphrodite slid into place on Tamsin’s other side.

“How _very,_ ” Aphrodite said. With a finger, she traced Tamsin’s face, down her neck. “Yum.”

Next to Tamsin, Lauren coughed. “Yes, how … _very._ ”

Aphrodite put her hands in the air. “Chillax,” she said. “It’s all good. Looky no touchy. Well, maybe just a little touchy.” She winked at Tamsin and then leaned back against the wall of the tub.

“Please. Can we _just_ have a little peace and quiet here?” Xena said, opening her eyes. She adjusted her back as though it were sore.

“Geez, what’s your damage, Xena?” Aphrodite said. “I see no reason why anyone here should be in a foul mood.” She looked appreciatively at Lauren and Tamsin. And then, struck with a thought, said, “Say, Xena. Where’s Gab-a-licious? Getting us some bubbly I hope?” She giggled.

Xena gave a growl and turned away from them.

“Whatevs,” Aphrodite said putting up a hand. She looked at Tamsin and Lauren. “So, how do you two hotties know Tall Dark and Broody here? Tell me _all_ the deets.”

“Well,” Lauren said. “It’s kind of a long story. But, we’re trying to get to Hestia.”

Aphrodite made a face. “Gag me with a spoon. Why?”

“We have a delivery we need to make,” Lauren said. “And, since Xena just came from Hestia, she’s going to take us there.”

Aphrodite put her hands up and laughed. “Wait,” she said. “O.M.G. Xena. Warrior Princess. Was in Hestia?” She kept laughing.

“Annnd here we go,” Xena said, crossing her arms.

Aphrodite turned toward her abruptly. “Xena.”

Xena looked away.

Aphrodite waded toward Xena. “ _Why_ were you in Hestia?” she asked. She then looked around. “ _Where_ is Gabrielle?”

Xena looked down at the water and bit her cheek.

Aphrodite moved in and took Xena’s chin in her hand, raising it so they made eye contact. “Xena of Amphipolis, you answer me right now.”

Xena mumbled something under her breath.

“Xena, I am legit going to put a curse on you…”

“I said Gabrielle’s joined the Hestians. Now get out of my face.”

Aphrodite inhaled sharply and drew her hands to her chest. “Are you fricking _kidding me_?!” she yelled.

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

“Oh ho _ho_ ,” Aphrodite said, laughing in a somewhat-scary manner. “Well, that’s just _perfect._ ” She stood and put her hands on her hips.

“What?”

“Do you even know how hard I worked behind the scenes on you two?” Aphrodite said.

“What are you even talking about?” Xena said.

Lauren put a hand on Tamsin’s thigh. “Should we help or something?”

“You wanna get in the middle of _that_?” Tamsin said, looking from Aphrodite to Xena.

“No comment?” Lauren said, biting her lip.

Tamsin shrugged and nodded. “Fair.”

“Xena, are you completely dense?” Aphrodite said. She splashed water in Xena’s face.

Xena hissed and splashed back. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, sweetheart.”

“Don’t you _even_ threaten me,” Aphrodite said, putting up a finger.

“Or what?” Xena said. “You’ll tell Ares to beat me up?”

“Isn’t that what brothers are for?”

“Among other things,” Xena said, wiggling her eyebrows. “Of course you know all about that, don’t you?” She chuckled to herself.

“Touche,” Aphrodite said, squinting in anger. She moved in close to Xena.

Xena put her hands up to block an attack, but none came.

“Oh, little one,” Aphrodite said, shaking her head. “You’re so tragic.” She put her hands at Xena’s shoulders and leaned in.

“Hey, what the-” Xena started.

“Calm down,” Aphrodite said. Then, she was kissing Xena.

Xena resisted at first, but she seemed to be no match for the Goddess of Love. Soon, the kiss deepened and Xena pulled Aphrodite closer. Aphrodite had Xena against the wall of the tub, hands moving under the water.

“Huh,” Tamsin and Lauren said together, turning their heads sideways.

Then, Aphrodite pulled back with a satisfied look. She reached out her hand and caressed the side of Xena’s face. “Now, Xena,” she said. “Why do you always have to ruin everything with your girl? Can’t you ever just cooperate with me?”

Xena strained forward, searching for Aphrodite’s lips again. “Yeah, I’m all about cooperation-”

“Mmm-mmm,” Aphrodite said, shaking her head. “That’s enough.” She began daintily wiping at her lips to fix her smudged lipstick. “Now, tell us why Gabrielle is with the Hestians. Can you do that for me?”

“She said,” Xena said, breathing heavily. “She said she might as well make her celibacy official if no one was going to do anything about it.”

Aphrodite shook her head with pity. “You wanted to do something about it though, didn’t you?”

Xena stared ahead.

“Xena, answer me….”

Slowly, the warrior nodded.

“Because, you two belong together,” Aphrodite said, crossing her arms. “Don’t you?”

Xena then put her face in her hands. “Gods, what have I done?” she said. “I have to get Gabrielle back. What if it’s too late?” She looked up at Aphrodite, a desperate look in her eye. “You don’t think it’s too late, do ya?”

“That I can’t say,” Aphrodite said.

Xena stood up. The water was bellybutton high, and water dripped from her chest. She whipped her hair to one side and strained the water from it. Her chest heaved up and down. “Come on,” she said. “Get packed up. All of you. It’s time to go.” She turned her back, placed both hands on the side of the tub and jumped up and out.

“Well,” Tamsin said, watching Xena depart. “Glad that’s finally settled.”

Lauren nodded. “See, good thing we came along after all, huh Xena?” she yelled. “High five,” she said, turning to Tamsin.

“That’s right, mm-hmmm,” Tamsin said. Nodding, she gave Lauren a high five.

Aphrodite turned to them abruptly, with a raised eyebrow. “Oh and don’t you two _even_ talk. Because you are this close yourselves...” she said, holding her thumb and forefinger close together. “Hmph.” She shook her head and followed Xena out of the tub.

“Yes ma’am,” Lauren said, looking down into the water with a gulp.

 

**xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

After drying off from the hot tub and getting dressed, they stood in front of Xena’s horse, Argo.

“So, you all can take turns riding with me,” Xena said. “Though I have to warn you, Argo doesn’t like many people.”

“Ex-squeeze me?” Aphrodite raised a hand to her chest. “You mean … ride on horseback?” She spoke as though the thought of this mode of transportation were appalling.

“Yeah,” Xena said. “By horseback.” She looked around sarcastically. “I sure as heck don’t see your chariot, so this’ll have to do, princess.”

Aphrodite shook her head.

“Yeah well,” Tamsin said. “Lauren and I can just walk too.”

Lauren shot Tamsin a look, with her mouth open. She then turned to Xena. “Wait!” she said.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Tamsin said. “Have you had some big urge to go for a pony ride?”

“Yes!” she said, turning toward Tamsin. She turned back to Xena. “ _Can I?_ ” She clasped her hands together.

Xena smiled, put her foot in a stirrup, and swung her leg over Argo’s saddle. She then extended her hand to Lauren.

Lauren skipped forward with a squee and took Xena’s hand. With little effort, Xena pulled the doctor into the saddle behind her.

Lauren put her hands tentatively at Xena’s waist. “Is this where I should hold on, or….?”

“Yeah, that’s good,” Xena said, smiling. “Hold on tight.”

“Ohhkay,” Tamsin said, crossing her arms. “So that’s how it’s going to work?”

“Like I said,” Xena said. “Argo doesn’t like people. If you wanna ride, I should really have the reigns.”

“Whatever,” Tamsin said. “That’s cool.”

“Besides,” Xena said. “Looks like you haven’t been in a saddle in a while, Valkyrie.” She laughed.

“Oh, believe you me,” Tamsin said, putting a hand on her hip. “I’ve been in _all kinds_ of saddles lately.” She then shook her head at herself. “Yikes,” she said under her breath.

“Tamsin,” Lauren said. “She’s right.” She then felt Xena’s outfit. “Wow, is this actual leather?" she asked, holding on around Xena’s waist.

“Yep,” Xena said. “And, hold on tighter if it gets bumpy.”

Next to Tamsin, Aphrodite snapped her fingers. “I got it! We can ride Snowflake,” she said. She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled.

“Uh, Snowflake?” Tamsin said, with skepticism.

Aphrodite chuckled and gave a little shimmy. Nearby, came a pop and then a puff of smoke. Once it cleared, a pure silver Pegasus appeared. It was a majestic creature with a long neck, flowing mane, and strong musculature. Being about three times the size of Xena’s horse, rather than a saddle, it wore a small carriage atop its back. It dipped its head and, sending a breeze over the women, unfolded its wings to their full span. It then knelt to the ground to allow Aphrodite access to the carriage.

“Oh, mama like!” Tamsin said, in awe.

Lauren’s mouth dropped open.

“Show off,” Xena said, rolling her eyes. “And, isn’t that Athena’s?”

“Yes. And she owes me a favor, thank you very much,” Aphrodite said. She held her hand out for Tamsin to assist her up into the carriage.

“Mmm-hmmm,” Xena said. “A ‘favor’? That’s what they call it now?”

“Oh puh-lease, Xena. You humans act like you’re the only ones with needs,” Aphrodite said. She turned to Tamsin. “Valkyrie, are you coming with?”

“Hell yeah,” Tamsin said. “This is _amaze-balls._ ” She climbed into the carriage with Aphrodite.

“Alright, alright,” Xena said. “Are we finally ready?”

“Totes!” Aphrodite said, smiling.

“Oh goody,” Xena said. “You ready, Lauren?”

“Yeah,” Lauren said. “‘ _Totes_.’”

 

**xxx**

 

“By the power vested in me by our goddess Hestia-”

“WAIT!” Xena yelled. She dismounted Argo and ran toward the crowd. “Stop. This is a huge mistake!”

The crowd, standing before an outdoor temple, gasped and turned as Xena ran toward them. They were wearing what looked like ceremonial robes and were standing before a large green flame within a hearth.

“Just what is the meaning of this?” said the woman who seemed to be officiating the ceremony. She had gray hair and wore a plain robe, typical of the Hestians. Still, she retained a dignified manner.

Lauren, Tamsin, and Aphrodite followed Xena into the fray. Xena looked around. “Gabrielle!” she said. “I’ve come for you.”

“You have no right to interrupt,” the woman officiating said, stepping toward Xena.

“The hell I don’t!” Xena said.

“Xena, honey-” Aphrodite started, taking hold of her arm.

Xena shook free. “Where is she? Gabrielle!”

“Tamsin,” Lauren whispered to Tamsin. “It’s Ruth.” She pointed at the woman who seemed to be in charge.

“Holy shitballs,” Tamsin said. She stepped forward. “Hey Ruth, sorry for the interruption-.”

“You!” Ruth said.

“You know this lady?” Xena said.

“Yeah,” Tamsin said. “She’s an Elder Hestian.”

“I don’t see Gabrielle,” Xena said. “Ask her. Is it too late?” She turned toward Ruth, questioning.

Ruth crossed her arms and sighed dramatically. She then noticed Aphrodite. Looking the Goddess of Love up and down, she eyed the pink lingerie and shook her head. “Really ladies? Bringing _her_ here?” Ruth said. “Hmph.”

“Seriously?” Aphrodite said, stepping forward. “‘ _Hmph_ ’ yourself, lady.” She crossed her arms and looked away.

“Look,” Xena said. “I’m just here for my friend, Gabrielle. She came to join the Order. Dropped her off myself not too long ago.”

“Gabrielle isn’t here,” Ruth said. “And this isn’t even the initiation ceremony. If you knew anything at all about our sacraments you would know that, as the green flame signifies, we are _obviously_ conducting our Lighting of the Vestal Flame ceremony.”

Xena shook her head and put her hands up. “Okay. Whatever. So where is she then?”

“Hestia is through there,” Ruth nodded with her head, speaking as though that were an obvious fact. “That cave. But, I have to tell you. The initiation ceremony is over.”

“Over?” Xena said.

“Yes,” Ruth said. “You are welcome to join the celebration, though.”

“Over?” Xena repeated, more to herself. She began walking toward the cave with a dazed look on her face.

“Oh crap,” Tamsin said. “Hey Xena,” she yelled after the warrior.

Xena kept walking, eventually passing through the entrance of the cave.

The Valkryie turned to Aphrodite. “You don’t think she’d, uh, attack the Hestians or anything do you?”

Aphrodite put a hand to her mouth. “You’re right! Should I get Athena here? This could be a complete disaster.”

Tamsin took off running after Xena, with Lauren and Aphrodite following her. Together, the women caught up with Xena. Inside, the cave was dimly lit. It had been built out so that rooms were on each side of them. What appeared to be a large reception hall was at the end of a long hallway.

As they got closer to the reception hall, the din of people talking and laughing got louder. The aroma of fresh, home-cooked food filled the air. Biscuits, pies, loaves of bread. Just outside the hall, was a bench. On it, a lone figure sat, head in hands.

Seeing the figure, Xena stopped. She tilted her head.

“Gabrielle,” she whispered, and began running.

The figure looked up and then, seeing Xena, stood. She was wearing what appeared to be a Hestian Initiate’s plain grey robe.

“Gabrielle,” Xena said, upon reaching her. “I’m too late. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”She put her hands on Gabrielle’s shoulders.

Lauren, Tamsin, Aphrodite, and now, Athena as well, fell in behind Xena.

“Xena, what are you doing here?” Gabrielle asked. She shook her head, confused.

Xena let go of Gabrielle’s shoulders. “It’s stupid,” she said. “You’ve made your choice.”

“Ahem,” Aphrodite coughed, from behind Xena. She nudged Xena.

“Oof,” Xena said. “Look. Gabrielle. I came here…. for you. To try to get you back, you know, before you joined the Hestians.”

Gabrielle shook her head. Then, she started laughing.

“See, it’s stupid,” Xena said. “But…. I love you. And now it’s too late.” She started to turn, but Gabrielle caught her arm.

“Xena,” Gabrielle said. She reached out to touch Xena’s face. “Wait. I couldn’t do it.”

“What?”

“I couldn’t go through with the ceremony,” Gabrielle said. “I realized I was being… childish. You know, when I told you I might as well be a Hestian.”

“Wellll…” Xena said, in a tone indicating agreement.

“I spoke with Ruth this morning,” Gabrielle said. “I told her that Hestia wasn’t right for me.”

“How did you know?”

“Well, there’s this cute little pastry chef here-” Gabrielle said. She then shook her head. “I mean, that’s not important. What I realized is that if my place isn’t by your side, I think it’s with the Amazons. Not here.”

Xena put her hands at Gabrielle’s waist. “So, you’re not a Hestian, then?”

“No.”

“And, I’m not too late?”

“Well Xena, that depends.”

“On?”

“Will you have me?” Gabrielle said. “I mean, _all of_ me? Not just as your friend. But as your lover. Your soul mate.”

“Yes. _Yes._ ”

“And, are you going to give me all of you, in return?”

“Gabrielle,” Xena said. “I’m not a good person. I’m not like you…”

“I _know_ that,” Gabrielle said. “I know who you are and I love you. And, I’ve been with women before. I’m not some innocent-”

“I know, I know,” Xena said, putting her hands up. “I’m _sorry_!” She began pacing.

“So?”

“Yes,” Xena said. “I’ll give you everything I can.” She then stopped pacing. “Um… which women?”

Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t matter.” She started pacing. “But, if you must know, I’m a Queen of the Amazons. You know what happens at those initiation rites. Women were lining up halfway around-”

Xena coughed. “Right,” she said. And then, under her breath, “Just as long as it wasn’t that bitch Najara.”

“What?” Gabrielle asked.

“Nothing,” Xena said. She stopped pacing, and reached toward Gabrielle. “So, you’ll come back with me?”

Gabrielle nodded. “Yeah.”

Xena leaned forward, then, and kissed Gabrielle. As their mouths met, Gabrielle wrapped her arms around Xena and pulled her close.

Behind them, Aphrodite let out an audible squee.

Gabrielle pulled back and then peered around Xena. “Aphrodite?” she said. She then noticed the other women. “Um…?

“Oh,” Lauren said, with a small wave. “Hey.”

“These are some friends I’ve met along the way,” Xena said. “I helped them get here. And, well, I guess they helped me too.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Gabrielle said, looping her arm in Xena’s.

"Hey," Tamsin said, nodding. Then, she sniffed the air. “You guys,” she said. “Ale. I smell ale! There’s ale in there?” She looked at Gabrielle expectantly.

Gabrielle nodded. “Barrels.”

“Sweeeeet,” Tamsin said. “Let’s go celebrate, ladies.”

Lauren grabbed Tamsin’s hand. “I’ll meet you in a bit,” she said. She then gave her medical bag a pat. “I really need to check back in with Ruth about this delivery.”

Tamsin grimaced. “Yeah, I’ll have a drink ready for you."

 

**xxx**

 

“I have to say, Tamsin,” Lauren said. “This is very... big of you.” She took a drink of the ale she was carrying.

Tamsin rolled her eyes. “Yeah yeah. I guess Xena’s not so bad. In fact, she’s kind of hard-core. Who else would start an arm-wrestling contest at a Hestian Initiation ceremony after-party?”

“Maybe she’s even more hard-core than you?”

“Heh,” Tamsin said, with a laugh. “Don’t know if I’d go _that_ far.” She had Xena’s chakram in hand and was tossing it up in the air as they walked down the dimly-lit hallway.

Lauren found Tamsin’s other hand and held it. “I’m just trying to say…. I’m proud of you.”

“To be honest, I’m hoping Xena’ll be so proud of me that she’ll let me keep it.”

“Mmmm, ya think?” Lauren said, laughing.

“A girl can hope.”

As they walked down the hallway, a door opened. Aphrodite’s head peaked out. “Bubbly?” she asked.

“Uh,” Tamsin said. “No. No bubbly.”

Aphrodite stepped out from behind the door and crossed her arms. She was stark naked. “Oh, hey ladies. We must’ve ordered it _eons_ ago!”

Lauren’s mouth open and closed, and she said, “You know, I don’t think there’s actually room service here in Hestia? Certainly not at one in the morning.”

Aphrodite looked confused. “Huh,” she said.

“Darling,” came a voice from behind Aphrodite. “If you want bubbly, all you have to do is ask. I’ll beckon Dionysus.” A muscular forearm snaked around Aphrodite’s stomach, and a head peared over Aphrodite’s shoulder. “Oh. Thank you,” she added, reaching around Aphrodite and taking the cup of ale from Lauren’s hand.

“Uh…?” Lauren started.

“Oh, here you go dear,” Athena said, producing a gold coin with an owl on it and handing it to Lauren.

“Dionysus, in Hestia?” Aphrodite said, laughing and putting a hand to her chest. “That would be absolutely scandalous! Hestia would _freak_!”

Athena chuckled and turned to Tamsin. “Now, do you have any of those …. little white peaches? I have such a longing.”

“Athena,” Aphrodite said, giggling. “They’re not room service.”

“Then why are they standing there?” Athena said. She shrugged. “Now regardless, if Hestia were to give you _any_ grief at all, all you need do is tell me. I can deal with her.” She ran the back of her hand softly over Aphrodite’s cheek, down her neck, and then between her cleavage.

Aphrodite gave a shimmy. “Dionysus is on his way,” she said.

“Excellent. So,” Athena said, turning serious. She looked Tamsin and Lauren up and down. “Why don’t you come in and eat of the forbidden fruit of the gods.”

Tamsin turned to Lauren and saw eyes widen.

“Uhh,” Tamsin said, turning back toward the Goddesses. “We’re actually just looking for Xena. We have a delivery for her.”

“Not a room service delivery though! We’re carrying her chakram,” Lauren added. She then rolled her eyes at herself.

“So, uh, we should go do that,” Tamsin said. She began backing up, taking hold of Lauren’s arm.

“Oh. Boo, you guys,” Aphrodite said. She stomped her foot.

“Suit yourselves,” Athena said, with a shrug.  She slammed the door shut.

Tamsin and Lauren began walking quickly down the hall.

“Holy hell, what just happened?” Tamsin said. “And smooth move, Miss ‘We’re carrying her chakram.’ Who are you, Baby Houseman?”

“Pretty much,” Lauren said. “And wow. The gods are an entirely different animal than the fae.” She began contemplating. “Hmmm….”

They continued walking.

“I know what you’re doing,” Tamsin said.

“Hmm, what’s that?”

“You’re totally analyzing what it would be like to fuck a god.”

“Just for science, Tamsin.”

Tamsin rolled her eyes.

They stopped in front of a door. “Well, here’s where they’re staying,” Tamsin said. She tapped on the door. Nothing. She tapped again, a little harder. No one answered. “Uh, Xena…?”

“Well,” Lauren said. “Maybe they went somewhere?”

“Yeah, because Hestia is such a hoppin’ place,” Tamsin said. “You think we should just go in?”

“I don’t know,” Lauren said. “No, maybe not.”

“Oh, come on, don’t be a-”

“Watch yourself,” Lauren said, raising an eyebrow.

“Fine,” Tamsin said. “Whatever, I’m going in.” Her hand went to the doorknob.

“Are you sure?” Lauren whispered.

Tamsin nodded. She turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. “Hey, Xena,” she said. “Uh, Gabrielle? Oh! Oh holy shit-” Tamsin immediately stopped in the entryway, upon seeing inside the room.

Lauren, behind her, bumped into Tamsin and then looked in the room. “Oh, uhhh…”

Xena and Gabrielle were together on the bed. Gabrielle was on her back, wearing what appeared to be straps on her hips and a phallus-shaped apparatus. Xena was moving on top of Gabrielle, sliding up and down the phallus, which even from a distance looked wet. From below, Gabrielle was thrusting her hips into Xena.

Lauren swallowed. “Oh my,” she said, in a tiny voice.

Xena and Gabrielle both turned their heads. Gabrielle’s face turned bright red, and her mouth opened in surprise. Xena’s face looked flushed, but she didn’t immediately stop moving. She just slowed down, and then came to a stop with the phallus inside of her.

She raised an eyebrow. “Well, are you in or out? Just shut the door either way.” She looked at them expectantly.

A beat passed.

Tamsin’s mouth opened and closed. “I… uh,” she said. “Here’s your chakram. We carried it. We have it, I mean. For you.” She thrust her hand forward, showing the weapon to Xena.

“Oh, hey! Thanks,” Xena said, with a big smile.

“It looks like you’re busy so, uh,” Tamsin said. “I’ll just put it here.” She saw a coat hook on the back of the door and hung the chakram on it. Her hands trembled slightly, causing the weapon to fall to the floor with a loud clatter.

" _Tamsin!”_ Lauren whispered. “ _Jesus._ ”

“Sorry,” Tamsin said. “Sorry,” she whispered again, as she hung up the chakram again. She gave it a little pat as it hung on the hook. “Little fella.”

Lauren pulled on Tamsin’s arm, urging her out of the room.

“Welp, see ya in the mornin’” Tamsin said, as she left the room. But, before shutting the door, she popped her head back in the doorway. “And good luck with all that,” she said, gesturing around in Xena and Gabrielle’s general direction.

“Good night, ladies,” Xena said, in a somewhat-amused voice.

Tamsin looped her arm into Lauren’s and the two giggled loudly as they half-jogged, half-walked down the hallway back to their room.

“Well, that was a surprise,” Tamsin said.

“Uh, yeah,” Lauren said.

“Xena getting topped from the bottom. Who would have thought?”

“I told you we shouldn’t have just gone in,” Lauren said.

“Spoil sport,” Tamsin said.

They reached the door to their room and went inside. Once inside, Tamsin found Lauren’s hand and pulled her close. Then, she pushed her against a wall. “Tell me the truth though.”

“Okay. About?”

“Are you turned on?”

“Tamsin….”

“Maybe a little?”

“Maybe a little,” Lauren admitted. She twisted Tamsin’s shirt in her hand, pulling the Valkyrie to her. She felt Tamsin’s hands at her hips. “Or, maybe a lot.” She moved her face in, close to Tamsin’s.

Tamsin pulled back, but moved her hands underneath Lauren’s shirt. “Well, this is what friends are for, right?”

“Tamsin,” Lauren said. “Kiss me.”

Tamsin hesitated.

Lauren moved in to kiss Tamsin, but Tamsin turned her face away, kissing Lauren’s neck instead. “Tamsin?” Lauren said, after a moan. “We’re… more than friends… aren’t we? I mean, you know that, right?”

Tamsin pulled back, but Lauren kept hold of her shirt, so she wouldn’t go too far.

“Are we, though?” Tamsin asked.

“Yes,” Lauren said. “I think so. Don’t you?”

“Whatever. I guess so.”

“Tamsin. Look.  Before we left for Hestia. You said you loved me.”

“I did?” Tamsin asked. “Oh, right. I did.” She shrugged.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “I want you to know. I did hear you,” she said. She inhaled. “And, I love you too.”

“You… you do?”

“Yes,” Lauren said. She pulled Tamsin in and this time, Tamsin let her. “Yes,” she whispered.

“And Bo?”

“Tamsin, I love _you_.”

“But Bo’s alway going to be there, isn’t she?”

Lauren kissed Tamsin, and then pulled back. “Bo’s kind of… there for everyone, don’t you think?”

Tamsin pulled Lauren’s shirt over her head and threw it to the floor. She guided them onto the bed, so that Lauren was lying down. “A fair point,” she said, straddling Lauren on her knees. She began tugging at Lauren’s jeans, pulling them off, followed by her underwear.

“I love you, now,” Lauren said, lifting her hips. “You are who I want, _now._ ”

Tamsin began kissing up Lauren’s stomach, past her breasts, and to her neck. She then sat up on her knees and pulled her own shirt off, followed by her bra. She bent forward and kissed Lauren, sliding a thigh between her legs.

Lauren put her arms around Tamsin and twisted their bodies so that she ended up on top. She laughed. “You let me do that, didn’t you?”

Tamsin raised an eyebrow. “Will you still fuck me if I say yes?”

Lauren laughed. “Yes.” She sat up and took off her bra, letting it fall to the floor. Her face changed and she turned serious. “Take off your pants.”

Tamsin complied, shimmying out of her jeans and pushing them aside.

“Underwear too,” Lauren said. “Did you think that was somehow not implied?” She raised her eyebrows.

Tamsin gave an evil smile. “That’s how it’s going to be?”

“I haven’t forgotten that you are also in love with Bo,” she said.

Tamsin’s mouth open and closed.

“Spread your legs,” Lauren said. She leaned forward, her head close to the Valkyrie’s stomach. She began tracing up Tamsin’s leg, starting at her knee. Up Tamsin’s thigh, to her lower stomach, and down past the soft curls below.

Tamsin let out a small moan.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Lauren said. “Or, are you going to keep acting like I’m the only one who might leave this relationship for Bo.” She teased at Tamsin’s entrance, already wet, moving her finger near her clit, but not actually on it.

“I am into _you,_ doc,” Tamsin said, beginning to roll her hips. “If that changes…. I’ll let you know. I can be direct like that.”

Lauren slid a finger inside, causing Tamsin to moan louder. “Good,” Lauren said. With one finger going in easily, she slid another finger in, her palm pressing into Tamsin’s clit. She lay next to Tamsin, her head resting on her other hand, watching the Valkyrie move against her hand.

“So, we’re good then?” Lauren said, keeping the rhythm.

“Yeah,” Tamsin said, breathing heavily. “We’re really good.”

“You’re not going to throw any more temper-tantrums about nightstands?” Lauren pulled out and began rubbing Tamsin’s clit.

Tamsin groaned. “Only if they keep printing awful instructions.” She pulled Lauren’s hand away from her and flipped them over so she was on top of Lauren. “That’s enough,” she said.

She moved Lauren’s hands over head and held them there. Sliding a thigh between Lauren’s legs, she began pressing.

“So impatient, Tamsin,” Lauren said. Still, she slid a thigh between Tamsin’s legs and wrapped her other calf around one of Tamsin’s leg.

“You like it,” Tamsin said. She let go of Lauren’s arms and slid a hand down, pinching a nipple on the way down. She slid two fingers into Lauren, moaning in appreciation as she felt the warm wetness waiting for her. She began thrusting, with her thigh helping, while she slid over Lauren’s thigh. “Fuck,” she cried.

Lauren closed her eyes and pulled Tamsin close, as they rocked.

Not longer after, they were both crying out, Tamsin feeling Lauren clenching around her fingers. Then, they slowed their movements, and came to a stop. In stillness, Tamsin stayed on top of Lauren, heart pounding.

Lauren opened her eyes. She hugged Tamsin, on top of her, and then ran her fingers down the Valkyrie’s back. She chuckled. “You still get goosepimples when I do that.”

Tamsin smiled and slid to the side of Lauren. She rested her head in her hand and looked at the doctor. “I love you,” she said. She then looked down, as if embarrassed.

“Hey,” Lauren said, putting a hand at Tamsin’s face. “I love you too.”

“Um,” Tamsin said. “And… not to get all practical, but, do you have any idea how we get back home. Or are we, like, stuck here forever now?”

“Not a clue,” Lauren said.

 

**xxx**

 

Tamsin and Lauren stood amidst a crowd of Hestians, as well as their new friends Xena, Gabrielle, Aphrodite, and Athena.

“Well, Valkyrie,” Xena said. “It was an honor to fight by your side.” She stuck out her hand and gripped Tamsin’s hand in a warrior salute. She then turned to Lauren.

Lauren opened her arms for a hug, and Xena stepped in, hugging the doctor in a big bear hug so that her feet were off the ground. “Oh, goodness,” Lauren said.  

“So,” Tamsin said. “Where are you off to next?”

“Gabrielle and I are going to do a bit of traveling,” Xena said. “There’s some hot springs we want to see. And then we thought we’d make our way north. Maybe pay Grinhilda a visit.”

“Yeah? Good,” Tamsin said. She then said out of the side of her mouth, “Maybe leave Freya off your itinerary, if you know I’m sayin’.”

“Will do,” Xena said. She put her arm around Gabrielle.

“Thank you, both,” Gabrielle said. “For helping Xena come back for me. In fact, Lauren…. I want to give you something.”

“Oh,” Lauren said, blushing. “It’s really not necessary.”

Gabrielle reached into the pack she was holding over her shoulder and pulled out a scroll. “Now,” she said. “It’s not all of his letters, just one. But, well, I hope you like it.”

Lauren’s mouth fell open as she took the scroll. “Hippocrates…” she began reading the letter. “Are you…. are you serious? This is amazing! I don’t know what to say. Thank you!”

She pulled Gabrielle into a hug and then turned back to reading the scroll, her mouth moving with the words she read.

“Well then,” Ruth said. “I must admit that I too am pleasantly surprised by how things turned out here. We may have lost a recruit in Gabrielle, but the Hestian Order is grateful for the delivery of Ambrosia ingredients that has been made.” She then looked at a teenaged boy who held a pair of wooden shoes. “And I know Benjamin is happy to have his gift from Emma.”

Lauren looked up from the scroll and smiled.

“And, of course,” Ruth continued. “Thank you for respecting our sacrosanct rule of not engaging in sexual activity whilst in Hestia. It is much appreciated.”

Lauren’s eyes widened, and she looked intently down at her scroll, feeling her face burn. Around her, she saw multiple pairs of feet shuffling about.

“Now, can I just say,” Athena said. “I know Hestia, and I think your interpretations of her teachings might be a bit hardline.”

“Hmph,” Ruth said. “The teachings are actually very clear-

“So!” Tamsin said, a little too loud. “We’re not interested in getting in the middle of that argument. Whaddya say we fire up the ol’ buggy-roo, so Lauren and I can get back to The Dal?”

“Oh,” Ruth said, with a laugh. “We cannot repair the buggy. We Hestians are a simple people.”

“I’m sorry?” Lauren said.

“Yeah,” Tamsin said. “How do we get back then? Click our heels together three times?”

“Oh!” Lauren said. She looked at Benjamin and pointed. “The shoes, from Emma! They’re from home. Like _The Wizard of Oz_ , they were with us the whole time!”

Seeing Lauren eye him, Benjamin held the shoes in a tighter, possessive hug, and turned away from her.

“Oh. _Really?_ ” Lauren said, annoyed.

Next to them, Aphrodite chuckled. “Those shoes won’t take you home,” she said. She began laughing again.

“Is something funny about this situation?” Tamsin said.

“You two are the _most_ adorbz. I could just eat you up!” Aphrodite said. She moved so that she was standing in front of them. “I can help you get home. Even if I’m sad to see you go.” She stuck out her bottom lip.

“How?” Lauren said. “What do you have to get us home if there’s no buggy and no magic shoes?”

“Oh, little ones,” Aphrodite said. “Something _way_ better. Are you ready?”

“Uh,” Tamsin said. “I guess so?”

“Well let’s motor then, ladies!” Aphrodite said. At that, she grabbed Tamsin by the shirt and pulled her into a liplock.

“Alright,” Xena said, nodding her head approvingly.

“Uh…?” Lauren said, cocking her head sideways. Yet, she watched as Tamsin and Aphrodite began flickering and then disappeared.

Second later, Aphrodite was back. “Your turn Doctor Hotpants!” She licked her lips, and then pulled Lauren forward by the shirt and began kissing her.

Lauren let herself be kissed and then moved her hands to Aphrodite’s sides, getting more into the kiss. She closed her eyes, feeling light-headed. It turns out, kissing a god was a bit different than kissing fae. It was all-consuming, all-encompassing. Lauren had tasted Ambrosia once in her life and it was a similar feeling. Warmth. Slight wetness. Roses. Velvet. She could stay here for awhile. Settle in. Get comfortable. Take notes. For science.

“Lauren Lewis,” came a voice. “Paging Dr. Lewis. Anybody there?”

Lauren shook her head and opened her eyes.

“Yoo-hoo,” the voice said. It was Kenzie.

Lauren looked around. Her hands were in front of her, as if holding onto someone’s waist. She didn’t want to think about the face she was making. She quickly re-adjusted her expression to something less pucker-y and more neutral.

“Ohhhh-kay,” Kenzi said. “Do I even want to know?”

“Nope,” Lauren said. She shook her head and looked around. Trick’s basement. Boxes still piled everywhere. “Where’s Tamsin?”

“Upstairs, getting a drink,” Kenzi said.

“But, we just left.”

“Time works differently there,” Trick said, appearing to her left. “Remember?”

“Have I told you yet that I hate paradoxes?” Lauren said.

“Yes,” Trick said. He gave Lauren a pat on the back. “And I’m so glad you ladies made it back okay. Just so you know, we _did_ have reinforcements coming to get you.”

“Reinforcements?”

“Dyson and Bo.”

“Oh!” Lauren said. “Well that would have made for some interesting dynamics.”

“I want to hear all about it,” Trick said. “Where did you go? How did you end up in Hestia? What was it like? How did you get back? Tamsin went straight to the bar without talking about it.”

“It’s…. a lot to process,” Lauren said.

“Over a pint?” Trick said.

Lauren nodded.

“Always with the processing,” Kenzi said. “Come on, you lesbians.”

Lauren, Trick, and Kenzi turned and walked up the stairs, with Lauren and Trick chattering the entire way.

“Did you know,” Lauren said, her voice fading. “Hippocrates has a lost scroll, let me show you…”

 

**xxx The End xxx**


End file.
